Scars of the past
by marinaandthedorks
Summary: After Sansa's horrifying experience with sexual intimidation and bullying, her parents decide to transfer her to a new school and sign her up for boxing lessons to learn how to defend herself. -Modern SanSan-
1. Chapter 1

**Trigger warning! Includes flashback of rape! **

**I put a * as a warning mark!**

_Chapter 1_

She gazed at the police officer who stood before her.

'And you don't know anything else about them?' he asked, watching her closely with every movement and breath she took. She nodded her head slightly.

'I don't.' she replied, looking at her father, who stood next to the officer.

'I'm so sorry, I just don't. It happened so fast.' She sobbed, feeling the warm liquid running down her cheeks and tasting the saltiness on her tongue. 'There were 3 of them, that's the only thing I know.'

Sansa felt her heart shiver and break to pieces. Well, what was left of her heart anyway.

'I think that is enough for today,' Ned said to the officer, who nodded in agreement and stood up.

'You will be changing schools. You need to get your life back together, Sansa,' Ned said as they walked down to the parking lot. Sansa stared at him in disagreement.

'I don't want to,' She told him. 'I'm too scared. What if they are still out for me?' she asked.

'Your mother and I will talk about that, but first, we are going to sign you up.' Ned sighed as he opened the car door.

Sansa climbed into the car after Ned.

'Right now?' she asked, thunderstruck.

She knew her parents were planning this, but right after her third interrogation? She felt that she didn't have any time to recover, but she knew her parents did not agree.

'Right now,' Ned stated, starting the car and driving away.

During the ride Sansa gazed out the window, staring as the beach near their home passed by. Soon after that the landscape turned into buildings and houses, which Sansa already hated. She prefered the nature, with its beauty and bright colours. She liked it when she felt the sand bubbling between her toes, with the background music of the sea, crashing its waves.

They stopped at a parking lot in front of a big building and Sansa sighed.

Sansa took a deep breath and followed Ned out of the car, looking nervous. Her tummy fluttered as they walked towards the building.

When they entered, there was a flood of teens in front of them, crossing and walking towards their classrooms. Sansa tried to swallow her panic, but felt more uncomfortable than ever.

Ned squeezed her hand, but Sansa didn't notice.

When they walked to the reception desk, her father spoke. Sansa remained silent, crushing herself down in her head.

_I'm never gonna fit in,_ She thought. _They will think i'm a freak if I they ever find out what happened to me._

*****Sansa found her mind flashing back when she thought about the attack. _The two boys holding her while another undressed her, ignoring her screams as she panicked beneath him._

Her father's voice brought her back to her senses.

'Are you coming Sans?' He stared down at her with worried look. 'My god, you look pale as a ghost. What's wrong?'

Sansa looked up at him.

'I don't know. I just..' She didn't want to bring it up again. The incident almost happened 2 months ago, but it seemed like yesterday.

And yet it felt like a day didn't pass when they hadn't talked about it. Or even thought about it.

_How can I go back to high school when I have these flashbacks?_ Sansa thought.

_How can I possibly survive this?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Trigger warning! Includes flashback of rape!**

**I put a * as a warning mark!**

_Chapter 2_

When Sansa woke up on Monday she was drenched in sweat. She sat straight up, holding back the tears that came thanks to her nightmares. Always the same nightmare.

She got out of bed and put on a jeans and a tight black t-shirt. Her auburn hair was messy, but she didn't pay any attention to it.

_Should I put on mascara?_ She always wore make-up, before the incident.

But it wasn't just the attack, she was also bullied at school. She couldn't find any reason why they bullied her, but they did.

_And will it be any different this time?_ She asked herself, feeling sad. _Am I going to have any friends this time?_

She walked down the stairs, where her mother sat at the table, having breakfast. Sansa didn't feel hungry, but she knew if she didn't eat anything, her mother would complain. So she got a small bowl of cereal and ate it.

When her father entered the room, he and her mother looked at each other, seeming almost nervous.

'What is wrong?' Sansa asked when she noticed.

Her father took a seat.

'After school, you'll be heading to the gym.' He explained. Sansa looked at them in confusion, not understanding what they meant.

'We signed you up for a boxing class.' Her mother said, making Sansa's eyes grow wide.

'Why?' she asked.

'You need to be able to protect yourself,' her father explained.

Sansa sighed, but then she started thinking, the only thing she did in her spare time was singing and reading. Somewhere far back in time, in another life, she would play the piano like a professional. But for some reason she quit.

To be able to protect yourself, she thought. It didn't sound that stupid, after all. But the thought of boxing made her nervous. _My self esteem is as soft as a pillow. How am I going to be able to punch something?_

'Okay,' was the only thing she said before grabbing her backpack and heading to the bus stop.

When she was on the bus, almost all of the seats were taken. The one's where one seat was still empty, were being occupied by the bags from the students. She wanted to ask if she could sit there, but they were all ignoring her, staring outside the window with their mp3 players on.

Sansa already felt bad. When she walked to the back, the bus started driving and she almost fell. With a red face, she went for the backseat and sat down. There were two boys sitting across from her, but they didn't pay her any attention.

Sansa sighed and stared out of the window for the next 20 minutes.

When the bus finally stopped and the students got out of the bus, Sansa waited until last before exiting.

She walked down to her locker and remembered the one she had at her old school. It had been full of beautiful photographs such as landscapes and animals. _Maybe I should decorate this one too_ she thought. _Maybe then I will feel a little more normal._

She dropped all of her personal belongings and books in the locker, but kept her phone with her. All the kids these days had smartphone's, which they used to talk and go on social media, whenever they had time.

Sansa had just a simple nokia. A really old one, which she got from her dad, who used it first. But since he is a police officer, he wanted something more modern.

And so she got this one when she was 12. The night of the accident, she left it home, because she didn't have the phone with her often and found it unnecessary. But she regretted it.

_If only I had it with me so I could have called my dad to pick me up_, she sighed.

The night of the accident she had gone for a walk. She loved long walks on her own, not just for the fresh air but also to take in the natural beauty of the place where she lived. Usually, she would just visit the beach next to their house. But she wanted to try the blue beach, which was much further away.

But she didn't know there were 3 boys there, drinking themselves to the ground. And when she went to leave, they noticed her.

*****Luckily they didn't get that far, but they still managed to undress her violently and touch her breasts. Then she got her legs free to kick the one that was touching her in his crouch, so she could run off, half naked.

Sansa pushed the heavy thoughts away as she got her history book and walked towards the class room. Luckily she wasn't the last student who got in, so she didn't have to feel awkward of being the last one entering the full classroom.

* * *

As the hours slipped by, it was almost lunch time. Sansa felt scared, thinking of where she was going to sit. _Maybe I should just have my lunch in the girls bathroom_ she thought.

The whole day seemed to go fast. Sansa enjoyed to be somewhere else again then her own safe territory. She was happy the day had a purpose again.

_Hopefully I will be doing this great all year long _She thought. But the thought of going to the psychiatrist for the rest of her life scared her. _I'm not crazy._

But then she remembered all the outbursts she had, where she would scream, covering her ears to shut out the flashbacks. And the nightmares. Always the nightmares.

* * *

The bell rang, It was lunchtime. As her fellow classmates would get up, talking and laughing their way down to the cafeteria, she stood up slowly, following in their shadows.

The cafeteria was very noisy, as all the cafeterias in high school probably were, and all full of people. It felt like all the places had been taken. So when Sansa bought a sandwich and a bottle of water, she made her way to the girls bathroom, to lock herself up in the toilet and ate silent.

_Maybe I will get some new friends tomorrow, or maybe even by the end of the day_ she thought, trying to remain positive.

So when the bell rang again, to announce the lunch break was over, she got out of the toilet and made her way to math class.

* * *

The day was over. Finally.

When the bell rang Sansa got up as fast as she could to make her way down the hallway to her locker. She had heard a group of girls gossip about her. About why she looked like she was always in pain. Like a freak.

Sansa was angry and sad at the same time. She really believed she could make a fresh new start, but after she heard those stupid girls talking, all her happiness and hope seemed to fade away.

_And now I have to go to those stupid boxing lessons for the rest of my high school semester_ she thought while opening her locker. _As if it's gonna help me. I should've disagree right away this morning when I had the chance. But now, thanks to your always-being-so-kindness, you're into it._

She couldn't understand what was wrong to her. Was she so different from everyone else?

She didn't like to party, nor did she like football. But she loved the school spirit, so she always went to the games on her own, hiding behind someone to stay unnoticed by her bullies. She loved to see the crowd cheering as they were one. Or to call out for the opponents.

She grabbed her sports clothing out of her locker. Then, she smashed the locker when closing it. She made her way towards the room where they held the lessons. There was a special room for the self defense lessons in school such as karate, boxing and tai chi.

As fast as she could, she changed herself into her sports clothes, noticing she was already late.

When she entered the boxing room, the lesson already started, seeing students punching a sack.

A large man appeared before her, blocking her view. His hair was half long and half of his face was covered in burns and scars. Sansa froze and felt more scared than ever.

'Do you have good reason to be so late in my class, girl?' the man rasped angrily.

Sansa bit her lip to hold back the tears. She hated it when someone didn't like her. So she simply nodded, staying silent.

'Then go to a bloody punching bag and start working!' he roared.

Sansa quickly obeyed, walking to a random bag and punching it.

The lesson remained silent. The trainer gave them orders to do exercises and the student did them.

Then, they had to work in pairs. Sansa had to train with a girl who was in the group slandering about her. She wanted to run away when she noticed there were three of them in the boxing class.

_I'm never going to his lessons again, it's absurd. I don't belong here. _

When the trainer explained what to do and the exercise started, finally the silence broke as the pairs were laughing and talking.

They had to hit each other on the hands with their boxing gloves.

When it was Sansa's turn, her opponent started laughing at her. Sansa tried to hit harder, feeling ashamed.

The girl looked at her friend.

'She hits like a pussy,' she said, laughing at her. And before Sansa knew it, they were both laughing at her.

Some pairs stopped to looked at her, and before Sansa could stop it she started crying.

_I am,_ she said to herself_. Can you just stop crying for once? You're making this too hard for yourself. The whole school will find out about this_.

When the trainer put down hit notebook and saw what happened, he stood up, walking towards the student.

'Out! ALL OF YOU!' He screamed.

Everyone was shocked, looking at the trainer in fear.

'Didn't you hear me, worthless cunts? GO!' He yelled.

Everyone rushed to the dressing rooms. Sansa wanted to go too.

'Not you!' he rasped.

Sansa froze on the spot and slowly turned around.

_I must look so stupid_, she thought. _I'm sure i don't have to leave, because he will send me, after he humiliates me._


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

The trainer walked towards the bench and sat down.

Sansa simply stared at him, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Then she realised she was staring at his horrible scars.

He watched her, noticing how frightened she looked.

'That's right, take a long, deep stare. You won't find many men with a face like this.' He grumbled, obviously feeling offended.

Sansa wobbled to him. 'I-I'm sorry, i,-' she closed her mouth, gazing at her feet miserably.

_He hates me already._

The trainer pointed next to him. 'Sit down.' He rasped, not looking at her.

Sansa walked towards him slowly and sat down, leaving almost half a meter between them. She was shaking slightly, hugging herself as she looked around the room.

'Why are you here?' he asked, looking at her. Sansa looked back at him, but immediately turned her head around when she noticed he was staring right through her.

'My parents signed me up,' she confessed with a sigh.

He raised an eyebrow, nodding his head.

'So, that's your motivation for this?' he pointed out, obviously thinking she was stupid because of her reaction.

Sansa shrugged her shoulders.

'They said I have to learn how to defend myself,-'

'No shit. You've already cried during your first lesson. Why didn't you say something to them? You know, high school is not going to get any bloody better if you can't stand up for yourself.' He said.

For the first time, he actually started to sound nice.

I judge people too much, a voice in her head said.

_But people judge me too fast too!_

'I was bullied at my old school.' Sansa confessed, feeling awkward. Why would he even care? Why would she care?

Here she was, almost confessing her problem to a stupid boxing trainer.

The trainer sighed. 'Not everyone's life is full of fairytales, girl. Does my face look like I had a pretty good life?' he grumbled. He almost sounded harassing. But Sansa stared at her feet again.

_He's right, there are people who have it much worse than me._

'So, you'll be coming here tomorrow evening at 7. You need to get some self confidence.' He rasped.

'And you may think your parents are wrong to do this, but they are right. You need to bloody defend yourself, because I'm not gonna be around every fucking minute of the day to tell those kids to shut the hell up. You're like a little bird. Tiny and quiet. And you lost your wings. So go get them back, or life is going to fuck you up.' He said, with a tone of anger, but also of the frustration of trying to get through to her. And it did. Sansa nodded and stood up, walking to the dressing room to get changed.

* * *

When she finally sat down in the bus, she stared outside the window through the ride. The memories of today struck her hard. But it also helped her getting a little bit stronger.

_How can I possibly feel stronger when I cried?_ she wondered, feeling disappointed with herself.

She opened the front door with her key, walking inside the house. Her father was probably still at the office working, but her mother was in the living room. She looked up when Sansa came in.

Sansa felt like an emotional wreck at the moment and didn't want to talk about it. So she threw her backpack on a chair in the kitchen, ready to leave.

'How was school?' her mother asked, standing up and walking towards her. Sansa sighed and thought about what she could possibly say to keep her mother calm.

'Fine,' she replied. Then she walked out the house to the direction of the beach.

When she finally sat down, far enough so the waves didn't touch her, she started humming for no reason. She watched she sun go down and thought about tomorrow.

_Hopefully tomorrow will be better_, she thought, while the sun went down to hide behind the sea.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

When she woke up, Sansa felt frightened. The usual nightmare had haunted her in her sleep once again.

She got out of bed, feeling worse than yesterday, realising she had to face the girls from the day before.

_What am I going to say to them if they start again? _She wondered.

_Well, one thing is for sure, you shouldn't start crying again._

She took a quick shower and picked out a pair of jeans and a large white T-shirt. She wanted to look pretty today, so she put on eyeliner and mascara. After she fixed her hair, she went downstairs to get some cereal.

Her parents were also having breakfast when she finally sat down.

'How did the boxing lessons go yesterday?' her father asked with a smile. Her father had been at the office for the evening and she hadn't spoken to him.

'Good,' Sansa replied, trying to smile. _I shouldn't start complain right away _she thought. _They are trying as much as I am to get our old lives back._

* * *

When Sansa got on the bus, It felt like a replay of the day before; all the seats were occupied by backpacks. She was shuffling towards the back when she heard a voice.

'You can sit here if you want.'

She looked at the girl who spoke, she was a pretty girl with long brown hair and long eyelashes. She smiled a little at Sansa, seeming shy.

Sansa smiled back at her. 'Thank you,' she said while sitting down.

_Did someone actually offer you a seat? _She though in disbelief.

'I'm Ann, by the way.' She smiled..

'My name is Sansa.' Sansa smiled back at her eagerly

Throughout the bus ride, they started talking. _About everything. _

Sansa got to know that Ann also liked to read books and she loved nature as well. Sansa was happy to find someone who she could relate to at last.

When the bus stopped and everyone got out, they walked towards school together. And when Sansa went to her locker, Ann walked with her. Sansa returned the gesture and walked with Ann to her locker to get her books. They talked until the bell rang and they had to separate to their classes.

Sansa turned to Ann.

'See you at lunch then?' she asked, a bit unsure. But Ann smiled and nodded.

'See you at lunch,' she grinned.

* * *

The day passed by slowly. But at least the girls didn't say anything to Sansa when she saw them. She felt relieved when the bell rang to announce lunch break.

Ann was waiting outside the cafeteria. She smiled when she saw Sansa and they went inside go buy a sandwich.

They found a place to sit, somewhere in the corner of the cafetaria. Sansa felt happy to finally sit in the canteen, like a normal teenager. But most of all she felt happy to have a friend at last.

* * *

When the day was over Sansa and Ann stayed at school to do homework together, Sansa realised she had boxing class.

'Shit,' she cursed, almost forgetting it.

'What is it?' Ann asked, looking up from her history homework. (Another thing they had in common_; they loved history_)

'I have boxing class at 7,' Sansa explained, realising it was already 5 o clock and she couldn't be home in time for dinner.

'Well, I have art class at 7.30. We could fetch some dinner at the diner? It's not that far from here. My mom and I used to go there to get milkshakes.' Said Ann, looking a little sad. When she noticed that Sansa was watching, she smiled.

Sansa grabbed her mobile out of her backpack to text her father.

Then, they went to the diner.

They each ordered a strawberry milkshake and a cheeseburger. They laughed when they talked about everything they could possibly think of. They even had some personal subjects, but Sansa didn't tell her about the accident. But she did talk about the girls from school.

'And I cried in front of everyone during boxing class. I'm still embarrassed thinking about it,' Sansa confessed. But Ann smiled.

'Nothing to be ashamed of. But why did you?' she asked. Sansa took a sip from her milkshake.

'I got bullied on my old school.' She explained, looking at Ann, who looked down at her empty plate.

'I'm sorry, I-I didn't know,-'

'Its okay, how could you possibly know?' Sansa smiled. Ann smiled back at her.

'I don't have many friends either. I don't really like the kids from our school, to be honest. They're just stupid, really.' She laughed. Sansa laughed at that too, agreeing.

After they said goodbye they went their separate ways, Ann going to the gallery and Sansa walking towards the school.

When Sansa changed into her sports outfit, she entered the room. There were no other students, only the trainer.

'Did the training get cancelled?' Sansa asked, feeling a bit awkward. But when the trainer saw her he walked towards her.

'No,' he replied.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

Sansa stared at him in confusion.

'So…Why am I the only one here?' she asked. The trainer looked at her with a grin.

'You'll be getting private lessons. I figured it would be more comfortable for you.' He explained as he walked towards the bench to get a punching bag.

He moved to the middle of the room in silence. Sansa was still not getting his point, but she walked little by little towards him.

'Hit it.' He said in a low voice while holding the sack. Sansa obeyed and started to punch it, but she still felt empty inside.

'Harder.' He commanded while watching her punch. Sansa tried her best, still feeling slow. Her energy seemed to be lost.

And so they stood quietly as she obediently punched the sack in his hands, the silence only being broken occasionally when he grumbled a bit of disapproval.

They were ten minutes in when he looked her straight in the eyes, making her shiver.

'Imagine is this is one of the girls who laughed at you.' He said.

Sansa looked at him as if he were joking. She held her breathe to avoid the laughter that threatened to escape her.

_How am I supposed to take this seriously_?

He looked at her in disbelief and somewhat anger.

'Do you think I'm kidding, girl? This is for your own sake. Hit it. Hit it hard, like It's one of your bullies!' He snarled, shocking Sansa with his ferocity.

She started punching with all she had, yet she knew she wasn't giving enough. But she wanted to, she didn't want to disappoint him.

_Typical me, always wanting to please everybody, except myself._

'So you're just gonna be a failure, like you were at your old school? Yeah I guess you like being a failure, don't you?' He yelled at her, making Sansa feeling frustrated. _I'm not a failure._

'I guess they were right, you are indeed a stupid freak. Just a stupid bird that forgot how to fly and lost her wings. Is that how you wanna live your life?!'

The more he screamed the angrier Sansa became.

_I'm not a failure._

'You think you're special and you have a hard life, but you don't. You let people walk over you like you're nothing more than garbage!'

_I'm not a failure._

Sansa punched so hard her hands hurt.

_If he doesn't shut up, I will punch him in the face._

'FAILURE!' He yelled at her, but Sansa punched harder, feeling her hands starting to ache.

_I'm not._

She wanted to scream and run away. She wanted to find her wings and fly away from this miserable place and all her memories. But she couldn't. She lost her wings.

'YOU FAIL,-'

The blow came as a shock to them both. Sansa stared up at him furiously as he dropped the sack and touched his nose, blood was already pouring out. He pinched his nose so it would stop.

Sansa stared at him, still feeling angry. _I told you I'm not a failure._

But then the shock came as she realised what she has just done.

'I-I'm so sorry, I,-'

'No. That was good.' He replied with a nod of approval.

'I never di,-'

'No, because you hold your breath and keep your anger inside. I really thought you were going to break down crying, but you did good.'

It looked like he smiled a little, but Sansa couldn't see since the lower half of his face was hidden by his hand.

She wanted to help him, but she couldn't.

_I'm such a mess._ she thought.

The trainer left her for a moment to clean the blood from his face. When he returned he hung the sack up from the ceiling. Sansa slowly followed his moves.

'Pretend this is the people you hate,' he said.

He took a step back on a level so he could watch her.

'Punch it.'

Sansa looked at him, feeling unsure, but she walked towards the sack and started punching it. Her hands were sore, but she still did her best.

She felt tired and sick, wanting to go home.

'Vent your feelings girl.' He commanded. Sansa looked at the sack. She did not feel ready for this.

_How can I vent my feelings to a punching bag?_

She reluctantly started to dig into her feelings, but she couldn't help feeling scared.

She pushed herself harder; shifting through her feelings and memories. This felt wrong.

But then, the flashbacks came. The nightmares that usually haunted her at night, were now flooding her mind. She wanted to push them back, but now there was no stopping it.

_Go away_ she screamed inside her head.

'No,' she whispered. 'No. No. No.'

She punched the sack a little, but it barely moved. Still the memories were crashing over her.

'Stay away from me!' she yelled. 'Go away! Don't touch me, filthy assholes!'

She punched the sack harder now, harder than before, harder than she ever thought she could.

'STAY AWAY FROM ME!' she screamed.

It felt like it wouldn't end; the punching, the flashbacks and memories. She felt her body burn and her heart ache. Her hands hurt like she had never felt before, her mouth had gone dry and sweat poured down her face.

But then, she felt a cool hand on her shoulder. She turned around, gasping and looked in the trainers face.

'That's enough for today, girl.' He said in his lower voice. His eyes almost went right through her.

She was crying, she realised, as she slowly pulled off the boxing gloves and made her way towards the dressing room.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

When she got home that evening, Sansa's parents had already gone to bed. She dragged herself up the stairs to bed with the haunting memories of that evening looming over her.

When she woke up the next morning she could not remember having her usual nightmares and she felt a rare sense of happiness and calm. She listened to the birds singing outside her window and decided it was a perfect day for the beach.

Sansa took a shower and put on a little black dress, some boots and a denim jacket. She grabbed a book from her shelf and put it in a shoulder bag, along with a bottle of water, her mobile phone and a chocolate bar.

When she went downstairs for breakfast she found her parents in the kitchen. It seemed that they were having a fight. When she tried to ask what was wrong, her mother stormed out of the house saying that she had to go to the grocery store.

Sansa grabbed some cereal and joined her father at the table, he was pretending to read the newspaper but Sansa knew better.

'What's wrong?' she asked, chewing on some cereal while staring at her dad.

'I'm on a very important case with the FBI and it's kind of dangerous.' He sighed, lowering his newspaper and looking at her.

'Therefore, your mom wants me to quit.'

He stared out the window, looking troubled, but quickly tried to cover it up with a smile.

Sansa rolled her eyes.

'It's OK dad. Mom is just worried, that's normal. I understand you can't just cancel your work.'

When her dad heard her saying that, he looked up at her and smiled, happy someone agreed with him.

When Sansa finished her breakfast, she pulled her bag over her shoulder and went to the beach near her home. It was a beautiful bright day, with the sun shining. She was very happy to find that she was the only one at the beach that day.

She sat in the sand, reaching for her book and started reading. It was a lovely day and Sansa was enjoying a very rare good mood. _Is it because of yesterday?_

It definitely helped in some points in her recovery, accepting the past and moving on in the future.

Sansa watched the sun disappearing behind the water with its beauty, realizing it was almost evening. But Sansa did not want to go home, so she grabbed her mobile and texted her father. Then she got up, packed her things and went to the bus stop to go the diner near her school.

When she reached the diner, she went inside and sat at the bar. She ordered a strawberry milkshake and took out her book. She started reading again, alternating between taking sips of her milkshake.

After a moment she looked around the diner and was surprised to see her trainer sitting in a booth, staring outside the window as he sipped a cup of coffee.

_Should I say hello?_ She wondered.

_For god's sake Sansa, you punched the man in the face, what worse could happen?_

She put her book back in the shoulder bag, took her milkshake and walked nervously towards him.

When he noticed her standing near his table she smiled at him.

'Mind if I join?' she asked. He smiled in his subtle way, pointing at the seat across from him.

Sansa sat down and took a sip of her milkshake, looking up at him.

'So what brings you here er,-'

'Sansa.' She smiled. 'You can call me Sansa.'

'Good. You can call me Sandor then.' He said, grinning.

_Sandor_. Such a pretty name for a terrifying person.

Well, he was not **that** terrifying. Otherwise he would have been very angry with her yesterday but he was not.

'I come here often,' she explained. 'And you?'

He stirred his coffee. 'Me too.'

An awkward silence followed. Sandor sat drinking his coffee and Sansa taking sips from her milkshake. They were both staring out the window when he broke the silence.

'You were very brave yesterday,' he told her.

Sansa couldn't believe what she was hearing. She blushed and stared down at her milkshake.

'Thank you.' She decided to say.

'Who was it that made you so angry?' he asked, looking at her curiously. Sansa shivered under his gaze.

_Should I tell him?_ She pondered. _Well, I guess I owe him that much._

'Well…One night I was at the beach and…there were three drunk boys there as well..'

Sansa could not finish, she knew the flashbacks would come again if she did. But luckily Sandor seemed to know what she was about to say.

'I'm sorry Sansa, I didn't mean to..'

'No it's OK. You couldn't know.' She smiled at him. Sandor looked slightly embarrassed.

'Not everyone has a lovely life story.' He rasped after a moment's silence.

Sansa didn't know understand the meaning behind his words. When he saw the confusion on her face he pointed at his scars and the burnt side of his face.

'Did you think some love story was behind this?' he asked, fighting laughter.

Sansa became red and embarrassed. When he saw her face, he turned serious again.

'Do you want to know how it happened?' he rasped.

It seemed to Sansa that he was becoming harsh again. She didn't want to take any risks, because now they were having a pleasant conversation and she wanted that to continue.

'If you want to.' She almost whispered, looking down at her hands.

'It's not a lovely tale I can tell you that.' He started, looking up as he was caught up in his memories.

'I think I was about six years old. My brother was about twelve then. He got a gamecube for his birthday, leaving his nintendo gameboy. So I took it and played with it. He was always playing with his new gamecube anyway, I knew he didn't miss it. But then he caught me with it one night. He didn't say a word. He just grabbed my neck and shoved my head into the fireplace.'

Then there was a silence. One that made a shiver run down Sansa's spine. She didn't know what to say, but he didn't seem to care.

'That's horrible.' She said.

'I don't want your pity.' He grumbled. Sansa felt ashamed, realising he was reverting to his old behavior.

'What happened to him?' she asked curiously.

'I don't know. There are some other horrible things that happened that I'm not going to tell you now. Maybe one day.'

Sansa shivered again. She finished her milkshake and looked at her mobile to see what time it was.

_6 o'clock_. Not that late. Sansa's tummy grumbled loudly, she blushed deeply as Sandor looked at her. He burst into laughter.

'Little bird is hungry.' He grinned. 'I should probably eat too.'

Sandor ordered an XXL steak for himself and Sansa ordered a simple cheeseburger.

When their food came, they started talking about the good things in life again. However, Sansa also told about the bullying at her old school, leaving Sandor feeling angry at the way she had been treated, he wanted to slap the bullies.

They talked about their hobbies and interests, favourite places to visit and holidays. Sansa promised to show the beach to Sandor, who loved swimming. It was the ideal place to go for a swim. He told her about his achievements in boxing, Sansa looked up at him with such enthusiasm and admiration that pride swelled inside him.

When they finished their meal, they both went their separate ways. Sandor making his way to his apartment and Sansa back home. For the first time since they started, Sansa was looking forward to her boxing lessons.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

It was Sunday. Sansa always found Sunday terribly boring, so she would often lock herself up in her room and read books. She noticed she was getting a little more tanned since spending the day before in the bright sun.

'..Life threatening situations! You should stop!'

Sansa lifted her head up from her book to listen to her mother's yelling.

They were fighting again, Sansa knew. She closed her book and slowly walked towards her bedroom door opening it as quietly as possible to stay unnoticed.

'Catelyn, we are _this_ close to catching them. They're dangerous indeed and we have to get them off the streets. Nothing is going to happen!' she heard her father reply.

Sansa sighed and walked down the stairs and seeing her mother and father arguing. A colleague of her fathers named Ben was there as well. He stood there, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Sansa knew Ben from the times her father would invite friends and colleague's over to their house to watch sports and drink beer. Sansa liked Ben, just as she liked the rest of her father's friends. But Ben was probably the closest to her father.

'Whatever, Ned. It's clear that nothing I say will make a difference. I'm off to the gym.' Her mother said as she grabbed her bag and walked out the door, leaving her father glaring at the ground.

'Another fight?' Sansa sighed. Ned and Ben both looked up at her.

'Since when did you start listening to conversations? How long did you stand there?'

Sansa smiled a little.

'Well, the fighting of yours was too loud to stay ignore' she explained.

Her father looked annoyed with her. 'Ben, you stay here, I'm going to buy some beer and food for tonight.'

With that, Ned left the house too, leaving Sansa with Ben.

'Boys night?' Sansa asked.

Ben nodded as they went into the living room and sat down on the couch.

'So what's the big case about?' Sansa asked at him.

'It's confidential, actually. Not supposed to say anything about it.' He said, pitying her since Sansa wanted to know the details of the case so badly.

'What do you think I'm going to do, sell the secrets to the enemies?' Sansa grinned. Ben returned the smile.

'If you don't say a word to your father.' He said, laughing. 'Promise it.'

Sansa rolled her eyes. 'Promise.'

Ben sighed and licked his lips, thinking of how to explain it to her.

'It's about a big drugs organisation.' He explained. 'You probably wouldn't know how the whole system of that works. So I'll try to explain it in simple terms.'

Sansa felt curious. Now that she heard the words 'drugs organisation' it already sounded dangerous. Therefore she couldn't blame her mother for being angry with her dad.

_I would be upset too, if my lover had to go on such a dangerous mission._

'There is a big man, named Mr. Derugos. We need to take him down. As well as his right hand, Mr. Clegane. He is the hit man in all of this, taking everyone down.' He explained. 'Mr. Clegane is dangerous because he doesn't care about taking lives.'

Sansa swallowed and felt like vomiting. _Mr. Clegane? Was this about Sandor?_

No, how could he possibly work for such a big drug organization while staying unnoticed? He was a boxing teacher at a school for god's sake.

Ben looked at Sansa with worriedly

'Sansa, are you alright? You look very pale.'

Sansa willed herself to remain silent and calm. 'Yes. I'm a little shocked to be honest, that's all.'

When her parents came home again, Sansa remained silent, listening to the conversations they had. But when the friends of her father came, she went upstairs, feeling sick and tired.

The story Ben told her kept her awake and when she finally did fall asleep, the nightmares plagued her once again.

When she woke up the next morning, she felt sick and wanted to stay home. But she knew she had to talk to Sandor to calm herself down.

_He has a brother,_ she thought. _Or maybe it's just one of his cousins. Maybe the person who Ben told me about isn't related to him at all. Maybe I'm imagining all of this._

So Sansa got up, took a shower and put on a pair of jeans and a white shirt with some sneakers. She went downstairs, but still felt too nauseous to eat.

When she got in the bus, she was happy to find Ann there and sat next to her, they started talking about their weekend. Sansa left the story of meeting Sandor in the diner out of it, not knowing why.

Sansa couldn't concentrate all day. She wanted it to end as soon as possible, so she could go to her boxing lessons and question Sandor about what she'd heard. When the bell rang, she rushed out of class to go to her locker. She grabbed a book to read and headed off to the diner. She read her book impatiently, wishing that time would pass faster.

When it was about 6 o'clock, she ordered a salad and some milk for her supper. She ate as quickly as she could. Then she got back to school, running towards the boxing room. She didn't even change, she just entered the room while the questions she wanted to ask swirled inside her head.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AUTHORS NOTES:**_

_Happy easter everyone! I have to admit, this chapter's kinda boring. But anyway, here it is! More Sansan coming soon (pinky promise). But since it's Easter. im going to an art exhibition with my family and we are also going to my boyfriend's family, so i'm not able to write until wednesday or something. _

_Love, Marina. May you celebrate these days with your lovely friends/family. X_

_**Chapter 8**_

When he noticed Sansa wasn't dressed in her gym clothes, Sandor cocked his head to the side in confusion.

'Why aren't you dressed?' He rasped.

'I need to talk to you about something,' Sansa replied nervously.

'Speak up, little bird.' Sandor said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Sansa sighed, not knowing how to ask him about something so serious

'My father is a police officer and lately he has been working on a very important case. Yesterday I found out that…that it has something to do with a man called Mr. Clegane.'

She felt anxious. _Maybe he will get angry with me again. Or maybe he won't say anything at all._

But instead Sandor looked calm and gazed in the air, seemingly searching for a way to explain.

'I will tell you,' Sansa wanted to smile in relief but then he looked serious again. 'But not tonight and not here. Tomorrow we will go to my apartment and I will tell everything I know.'

Sansa nodded slowly, still feeling slightly nervous. _What if it __**is**__ about him?_

But Sandor did not seem overly affected.

'Get changed. Now.' He ordered.

Sansa ran towards the dressing room and changed into her sports outfit. When she got back into the training room, Sandor had hung up the punching bag.

'Hit it,' was all he said as pointed at the bag, watching her every move closely.

Sansa obeyed, walking towards the punching bag and hitting it with all her strength.

When she began to sweat, Sandor decided it was enough for the 'warming up' and started talking about the theories of boxing, teaching her ever way of avoiding beatings and ways to attack.

It was a hard but meaningful training; Sansa learned a lot about the history of boxing and about techniques and methods of attack.

After the training, Sansa felt tired but satisfied. She was happy about all the new information she got, so she could clean up the mess inside her head and refill it with better things. She felt finally empty, leaving all the stressful thoughts of this morning behind.

Still, she thought about tomorrow. About going to Sandor's apartment, it made her feel a little nervous.

_If my mother or father hear about it, they will surely freak out and become very angry with me._

But she had to; she had to calm herself down. To be sure nothing serious was going on. Maybe her mother would calm down too then.

When Sansa got home, her parents were having coffee in the living room, having a chat as usual.

_No fight_ Sansa thought happily.

She joined her parents for a few moments, but felt far too tired and headed upstairs to bed soon after. Her mind was racing before she fell asleep with thoughts of what Sandor would tell her the next day.


	9. Chapter 9

**_AUTHORS NOTES: _**

_I'm so sorry for not updating lovely's! Thanks for all the sweet reviews! Everyone had a good easter?_

_Anyway, here's the chapter. Again i'm so sorry! :P Xxxxx_

**_Chapter 9_**

'I'm going to stay at Ann's for dinner,' Sansa told her parents as they sat together enjoying breakfast.

Sansa was nervous that her parents would not believe her, she was aware that she was a terrible liar.

But her mother simply shrugged her shoulders.

'Don't get home too late,' she warned her, when Sansa stood up and packed her backpack, ready to go to the bus stop for school.

When Sansa saw Ann, she smiled. They walked to their lockers together.

'Ann, can you do me a favor?' she asked, peeping up at her as she held her math book.

'What favor?' Ann asked, giving her a look of confusion.

'I'm kind of doing this thing tonight, if my parents check up on me and call your parents, can you tell them I'm with you?' Sansa asked, staring nervously at the ground.

Sansa looked at Ann, trying to discover the emotion behind her poker face.

Ann slowly nodded. 'Just this one time, bút,' she smiled. 'You have to go shopping with me this Saturday!'

She giggled. Sansa chuckled too and shrugged her shoulders. 'Of course. You really could've just asked me that already,' she grinned.

When Sansa and Ann were done with laughing and joking, they went their separate ways to their classes. Sansa missed Ann during class, wishing she had a friend to talk to. But she was glad they had their breaks together.

The day crept by slowly _– too slowly_. Sansa wanted it to be over as soon as possible, because she couldn't control her curiosity anymore of what Sandor had to tell her.

So when the bell finally rang and her classmates walked out of the room, she almost jumped out of her seat, grabbed her backpack and walked out of the school after throwing her books into her locker.

When she walked outside, Sandor was waiting for her, standing in front of a simple black car. He looked at her with a blank face, so she slowly walked towards him with a little smile.

'Hello,' she said. He nodded and grumbled something in greeting before climbing into the car. Sansa walked to the other side and slid into the passenger seat.

At that moment, she didn't know whether she felt happy or scared, since she didn't know the meaning behind all this.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

During the ride to his apartment, Sandor and Sansa remained silent. Sansa felt the tension between them and wanted to break the ice so badly, but she didn't know how.

When they finally drove into a parking lot of his apartment building, she felt very relieved.

Sandor stopped the car and got out without a word. Sansa looked at him in confusion, wondering why he was being so silent with her.

After Sansa grabbed her bag, she got out too, walking towards Sandor who was waiting for her.

Sansa looked around, inhaling the fresh air. She found the neighbourhood rather scary looking, almost feeling like they were in a ghetto.

'Done with judging?' Sandor rasped, sounding angry.

Sansa turned around to face him quickly. _Why was he always so cruel and negative?_

'I was just looking, alright? It doesn't mean i'm judging.' She replied defensively._ I will not let him humiliate me._

Sandor smiled slightly at her.

'Doesn't mean I meant it in a negative way, little bird. Judging doesn't always have to be bad.' He said.

Sansa felt her cheeks turn red and looked at the ground. _He's right_, she thought, feeling embarrased. The fact that she heard a tone of anger, was just because she always assumed he was full of hate.

They walked towards the apartment building in silence, Sansa was scared to say anything after what she said._ I'm so stupid sometimes._

When they went up with the elevator, Sandor walked in front of her through a hallway. Then he opened a door and held it open for her, letting her in first. She smiled and walked in.

She was surprised by his apartment. It was pretty big, enough for one to live in. It had a comfortable looking couch and even a bookcase filled with books. He had a little TV and a small kitchen, but it looked very nice.

Sansa smiled as Sandor closed the door and walked into the living room behind her.

'It's not much.' He said, almost sounding shy. But Sansa nodded.

'It's pretty and comfy looking,' she chuckled, making Sandor feel more comfortable. He walked at the couch and sat down. Sansa followed him and took a seat next to jim.

She cleared her throat and peeped up at him. She heard Sandor sigh.

'What I'm going to tell you has to stay between us, little bird.' He rasped, staring at his hands.

'I will.' Sansa nodded. But Sandor gave her a severe look.

'It has to stay between us, or he will kill you.'

Sansa felt shocked at those words. She felt sick all of a sudden and her hands began to shake.

_Kill me?_

'Don't worry,' Sandor said. 'He won't because I will be around you all the time. If he seems a threat to you.'

Sansa nodded again and gazed at her hands. Sandor began to talk.

'My brother is indeed the right-hand of a drug boss. A very big one. My brother kills everyone for him without a doubt.'

Sansa looked at him. She didn't feel very surprised at this because of the story of him and Sandor.

'But there's something more,'

Sansa stared up at him

'My brother was always bad. He even killed our sister. And he killed many more. I don't know why, but i always wanted to impress him. And thanks to him, I couldn't control my anger.' He sighed.

'I killed someone too. When I was much younger.'

Sansa's mouth opened in shock, she didn't know how to respond.

'I was so angry.. I killed a boy. I beat him bloody.'

Sansa sighed. 'You went to jail?' She asked, curious. But Sandor looked down guiltily.

'No,' he said. 'No I didn't. They never found me. They never did. And I bugger myself for that, every day.'

There was a silent remaining. Sansa didn't know what to say or to do. After a moment Sandor started talking again.

'I started controlling my anger. And ever since that happened I wanted to do something to make me feel good, I started boxing. And that's why I started giving lessons at the school. To make me feel better. But I will never forgive myself.'

Sansa sighed. 'That's good of you.'

'No its not,' Sandor growled. 'I should've reported myself that night right after. But I was a coward. I couldn't simply stay in jail when my brother was free to go and kill whoever he fucking wanted.'

Sansa looked down at her hands, feeling a little scared since Sandor was becoming a little angry again. She felt his eyes upon her.

'You're afraid, girl?' he grumbled. Sansa bit her lip. 'You're always afraid. Still haven't found your wings to fly away, then?'

Sansa felt tears behind her eyes. She was alone with him. No one would hear her.

And that's when she felt his hands on her shoulders. He almost pinched her, seeming not to be able to control his strength. The pain burnt through her upper body.

'You're hurting me!' she cried. He was very close to her now. His eyes were full of anger.

_'Please,_' she begged. But he still looked at her with hate. 'I _beg_ you,' She heard her voice. She said it with so much power, but it felt like a silent prayer. Then she heard his voice again.

'You shouldn't be afraid, I stood up for you when you couldn't because you were too fucking scared.' He yelled at her. Sansa looked down, feeling tears pouring down her face.

_Please, let him stop. Make him stop. I'm so stupid for falling for this again._

'I told those low life's to fuck off. Yet you're scared?! You should be thankful!'

Sansa sighed, still looking down.

Finally she looked up. She tried to remain calm. She scanned over his face. She saw his horrible scars. She saw his ear that was half burnt off. She saw his eyes that were full of anger.

Full of anger because of the horror that happened to him. And because of what he did. Then she thought about the horrible things that had happened to her.

She looked deep in his eyes.

'You won't hurt me.' She said. She heard her own voice and felt more confident._ 'You won't hurt me.'_ She repeated.

He looked at her. His eyes full of anger softened and his lips parted a little. He let loose of her shoulders and shifted a little bit back.

'No little bird,' he said.

_'I won't hurt you.'_


	11. Chapter 11

_**AUTHORS NOTES**_

Omygosh, i'm so so so so sorry for not updating so long. I have a lot of things going on in my private life, so i didn't feel like writing. And i didn't want to finish my chapters in a rush so it would turn out bad. I hope you like this chapter and again i'm so sorry! I hope you still like the story.

Reviews are love! :) xo

* * *

**Chapter 11**

When Sansa got home that evening, she felt confused and somehow shocked. _Can I trust him? Does he trust me?_

Waves of confusion washed over her as she prepared to go to bed. Her thoughts were racing and she relived the moments she spent at Sandor's apartment. _He understands me. He understands me in a way that no one else does. This is insane. I should quit kickboxing._

But her exhaustion won the battle and she fell asleep as soon as she closed her eyes.

The next morning, her mother woke her as she was leaving for work.

'Had a good time at Ann's?' She asked, obviously wanting to confirm that everything was alright with Sansa.

She slowly nodded and straightened up on her bed, looking at her mother who now smiled. 'Alright. I'm going to work. You should probably make yourself ready for school.'

Sansa smiled slightly, trying to act normal. Her mother left the room and a few moments later she heard someone lock the door and drive away.

Sansa yawned and started preparing herself, still feeling tired.

That day at school, Sansa could barely focus on her lessons. She was glad to be able to talk to Ann during their lunch breaks.

'Are you going to tell me why I had to cover for you last night?' Ann asked in her curiously. Sansa smiled and remained silent for a while.

"Did my parents call you to check up on me?" Sansa looked at Ann.

'No, they didn't.' Ann replied before taking a few sips from her milk. 'And you made a promise, we're going shopping tomorrow.' She chuckled at Sansa who grinned and nodded.

'Yeah,_ I need a new jacket anyway_.'

As soon as the bell rang, Sansa closed her eyes and sighed, already feeling terrified to face Sandor for her boxing lessons. After dropping her books in her locker and getting her gym clothes, she went to the dressing room to change.

She put on her shirt as slowly as possible, trying to breathe steadily to calm herself down. _Calm down, its fine. Nothing's gonna happen._

Her mind was racing with the moments from yesterday. Sansa was scared that things would be awkward between them.

Yesterday, after his outburst, he had said he wouldn't hurt her. Sansa had looked at him with tears in her eyes. And there was a silence_. A long one_. Sansa had looked at him, eyes still glistening with tears and said; "Bring me home._ Now_."

He had looked at her with pity and regret, trying to say he was sorry, but he know she couldn't take it anymore. So he obeyed and dropped her off a mile from her home.

Sansa pushed her thoughts away_. "_Shut up_. Shut. Up."_

She got up from the bench in the dressing room and opened the door to the gym room, where he was sitting on the wooden bench, drabbling in his note book. She remained silent and walked towards him. When he noticed her and looked up, he grumbled something and got up. Sansa crossed her arms over her tummy and looked down.

_'_Push ups_. 30_.' He said, with a serious tone_. Was he mad at her? Mad after what happened yesterday, for godsake?_

But she just nodded, laying down on the ground and starting her push ups. When she was finished, he had prepared the punching bag.

'Now, punch. _And punch good._' His tone was still sounding serious and somehow mad. But Sansa tried to ignore it and started hitting. _I don't want this. I want to talk to you, just like we usually do._

Sansa closed her eyes, but kept hitting. _What the fuck is happening to me? Why am I feeling this way?_

Her mind was racing again. She felt the flashbacks crashing over her. _Not only from yesterday, but also from the accident._

But when she saw the boy who tried to touch her and talked to her, it wasn't the boy's voice who spoke, it was Sandor's.

_'Little bird, are you alright?'_

She opened her eyes and looked up at his face. His scars, his brown eyes, his lips, his eyebrows. They weren't looking mad at her anymore. They looked concerned.

Sansa was laying on the ground, she realised. Her cheeks were wet and her lips chapped. She struggled to get up, and Sandor helped her, laying one arm on her shoulder and the other one behind her back.

'What's wrong, Sansa?' he asked, still worried. Sansa looked down for a moment.

'I,-I don't know,-' He looked at her, forcing her to look deep into his eyes. 'I,-I just saw things again, I'm sorry.'

Sandor sighed. 'Don't be. How come?'

Sansa shrugged her shoulders.

'I just don't like you being so mad at me. _That's all_.'


End file.
